Let’s say I’m a nine-year-old boy. My sister is six. I’m bigger, stronger, and feistier. Is it in my interest to accommodate? Or would I be inclined to solve conﬂicts in my favor? Is self-love stronger than sibling love? Can you imagine my nine-year-old self saying to my sister, “OK, Harmony, let’s try to work this out. Since I’m the big brother, I will sacriﬁce. You play with the Legos ﬁrst, all by yourself, for the next ﬁfteen minutes. See, isn’t that better? And Mom can enjoy her nap.” If by some quirk of nature, you have a child like this, I’d say let him solve all conﬂicts. In fact, I’d say let him raise himself—and his sister, too.